We have all been called upon at one time or another to help a loved one through a difficult time. When the help required consists of concrete actions, such as running errands or making phone calls, we know what to do. But sometimes we are called simply to hold space for the person as they go through whatever they need to go through. They may need to express anger or grief; they may need to talk or be silent. They may need us to hold their hand; they may need us to give them time alone. Whatever the case, when we hold space for someone, we offer ourselves up as a container for the overwhelming feelings they may be encountering due to their circumstances.
When we offer ourselves in this way, the more centered and grounded we are, the better. Our steadiness allows our companion to lean into us for support, as our presence provides an environment in which they can be free to move. We can also help by being responsive, allowing them to dictate the flow of action from talking to not talking, from anger to grief, and back again. By being aware and open, we can help them confront their feelings when that feels right, and back off from them when they need a break. Holding space requires humility, conscientiousness, and the ability to step out of the way, to honestly understand that this is not about us.
When we care for someone in this way, we provide a space in which they can simply be. So they are able to feel what they need to feel without worrying about how they are being perceived. We can provide this offering in person, in a group and over the phone, or even from a distance, through meditation. However we do it, when we hold space for someone in need, we are offering a gift of the highest nature.
Adults Coping with Grief Support Group is an avenue for healing in a group setting made possible by the Group itself with an experienced Facilitator. The Support Group meets the 3rd Tuesday of each month beginning October 15th at its new location in Curtis Creek Gracious Retirement Living Center on the second floor from 10:00 to 11:30 am.
For information please call Rosie Scott, Blessing Cancer Center, at (217) 223-8400, ext. 7709.